I think I've already lost some weight.

However, I'm not sure. My stomach looks smaller... but I don't have a scale in my dorm so I'm not completely sure if that's just wishful thinking.

I'm not doing the whole calorie counting thing. For now I'm just aiming for healthier choices and smaller portions to see where that gets me.

It's really hard living on rez though and trying to do this. The other day I went out and stocked my mini fridge with some fresh fruits and vegetables. So instead of munching on Oreos or something, I've been eating a handful of carrots to satisfy my urges. It's helping somewhat.

I have to indulge though. Today at dinner I gave into a chocolate pudding. I'm not going to lie. It was delicious.

I'm going home next weekend so I'll weigh myself there to see if I've made any progress, and maybe my mom will pick up a scale for me. She picks up everything from me seeing as how I've fallen into that "Starving Student" university category. No pun intended.

Oh! Also, I've been wanting to take up running but the weather has been so shitty this week. Hopefully the rain will go away and I can start that - especially since my biggest goal is smaller thighs.

Nothing beats a good heartbreak. It may sound sick, and sadistic, and twisted... but I'll admit, I like the feeling. The emotions that come with heartbreak are so strong and clear that you've never felt so alive before. You open your eyes like a blind man seeing the world for the first time. Following the heartbreak is the mending of your heart, like a broken bone after falling from the monkey bars. That feels even better. You're smarter than you once were. You're see the monkey bars in a different perspective. They entice you and draw you in to their beauty. You remember what happened the last time you let your heart overpower your head; you were left broken and in pain. Despite it all, you give in. You know the feelings that come from flying across the monkey bars is worth the risk. So you take a leap and pray to God you don't fall.